Shooting stuff at the Sport Center

Email: richretyi@gmail.com

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Ian Fleming novels, the inevitable zombie apocalypse and opening day of deer season (November 15) made it crazy for me NOT to be at the shooting range last week. My experience with guns is limited. I’ve fired a number of air rifles and once shot a small caliber handgun while vacationing in Vermont.

To my credit, I am good at video games where you shoot things (that stupid dog hardly ever laughed at me in Duck Hunt) and I have two incidents of firearms related murder on my resume (more on that later) but I am unprepared to be a 007, defend my loved ones from the undead or provide them with tasty deer sausage.

“But it’s impossible to kill a deer with a .40 caliber handgun,” you just yelled right after you Asked Jeeves “Did Rich Retyi really commit murder?” and to you I say, maybe not, but you sure as hell can kill hogzillas. Eleven year-old Jamison Stone bagged a 9-foot-4, 1,051 pound hogzilla in the backwoods of Alabama with a .50 caliber handgun, chasing the animal through the hills for three hours and squeezing off eight shots before it finally fell.

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